Awkward school pictures

August 22, 2013, 12:05 am

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We haven't done awkward in a while, and here are some winning Very Awkward School Pictures, courtesy Slideshowtoday. Chuckle...

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If you’re ever thinking you can’t do it, here’s some inspiration

August 22, 2013, 12:05 am

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Take the voice of Bradley Cooper (swoooooooooon!), add some of Nike's heartfelt motivation, and you have their latest wonderful ad campaign, "Possibilities". This is not just a sporting motivation, although that is the main theme. For me, it's about pushing yourself, getting out of your rut, getting fitter and stronger, and loving yourself more and believing you can do more than what you think. In case you missed it doing the rounds on social media yesterday, take a look.

The winners of the Club Med/Sorbet vouchers are…

August 23, 2013, 12:25 am

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Yay to Nikki, Tiana, Ramona, Sara and Melanie who have each won a mani an pedi at Sorbet, courtesy Club Med. I'll email you details of your win.

Everyone’s talking about: Disney Infinity

August 23, 2013, 1:45 am

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Today is the launch of Disney Infinity, which has caused much excitement because it's a game where you can play with the characters, and create and customise virtual worlds and adventures for them. It's almost like making your own movie - you can also solve problems, fight the baddies, and visit familiar Disney locations.

To better understand a little better how the game works, here's an infographic (I heart infographics)!

Disney Infinity is available on Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, Wii, WiiU and Nintendo 3DS. The Disney Infinity starter pack carries a suggested retail price of R799.99 and all versions are rated "E10+" by the ESRB. The Lone Ranger and Cars Play Sets are available separately for a suggested retail price of R349.99.  

Win a Bio-Oil hamper and Desray scarf

August 25, 2013, 11:22 pm

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I don't think Bio-Oil  needs much of an introduction, though I could sing its praises for ages. I've been buying and using this tissue oil since I was pregnant (it's safe to use during pregnancy), and it's been a skin-saver ever since. Not only is it great for keeping skin moisturised and stretchmarks minimised, but recent studies have shown that Bio-Oil can also improve the look of ageing skin. This week, I'm giving away a Bio-Oil hamper that includes a gorgeous Desray scarf (assumedly for your soft décolletage after applying Bio-Oil), and three bottles of Bio-Oil (60ml, 125ml, and 200ml). To enter to win, simply comment below, mention why you like Bio-Oil (there's no "wrong" or "right" answer) here. The competition closes on Friday August 30 at 8am, and the winner will be announced shortly after. Bio-Oil is available at pharmacies and select retail outlets nationwide from R49.99. 125ml (R74.99) and 200ml (R109.99). For further information go to www.bio-oil.com. You can also find Bio-Oil on Facebook here.  

One day, I hope my son’s future school will do something as cool as this

August 25, 2013, 11:23 pm

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11-Story LEGO Tower Is Officially the World’s Tallest

Newsfeed

“Wow. Just — wow,” said Ralph Storner, one of the students who helped build the tower (via Delaware Online). “You know when you’re talking about a world record it’s going to be big. But seeing it now, it’s really cool.” All told, the tower weighs nearly a ton and stands nearly 113 feet tall, making it the tallest structure composed of toy bricks ever assembled, according to the Guinness Book of World Records (the prior record-holder was a 106-foot tower built in Prague in 2012). The bricks were pieced together in sections by students over the past several months, then those sections were stacked by contractors who’d volunteered to help out, constructing the tower around a metal cylinder and using tension cables to keep it from tipping over. While the number of feet in a story varies, it’s generally around 10 (think room height plus space for floor and ceiling), allowing the school district to reasonably claim the tower is around 11 stories tall. Why — aside from fleeting Guinness record notoriety — enlist a bunch of students to build an 11-story-tall LEGO tower at all? “We want kids to get a message out of this,” said district superintendent Mervin Daugherty. “One kid could never put this together. But when we all work together, when we’re all a team, we can do something that people probably thought would be impossible.”

A dream trip for Barbie-loving girls

August 25, 2013, 11:24 pm

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I've never been on the Royal Caribbean Barbie Premium Experience, so I can't vouch for it. What I can say is that if this was around when I was between the ages of five of 10, I would have begged my parents to take me on this cruise (much like I didn't stop nagging to go to Disneyworld).

So what can families expect from the Barbie cruise? Barbie-themed staterooms, with complimentary Barbie™ dolls and other keepsakes, an onboard activities such as a tiaras and teacups party, and a mermaid dance class, where girls will learn moves from the hit movie, Barbie in a Mermaid Tale 2. Girls can also learn how to make Barbie-style clothing at a fashion designer workshop and they later take part in a fashion and dance show. There are various other cruise experiences for babies, boys, tweens and teens, each with tailor-made activities and experiences. The Barbie cruise isn't available here, but South Africans can enter to win a seven-night Mediterranean Barbie Premium Experience cruise for four, sailing from Barcelona. You can also win Barbie™ product hampers worth R20 000 . For entry details, check out www.BarbieCruiseHoliday.co.za For more info on the cruises, go to www.cruises.co.za

The baby monitor that lets you track activity wherever you are

August 27, 2013, 2:01 am

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I was asked recently what my essential baby device was when my son was born, and aside from a bottle steriliser, I answered baby monitor. It allowed me peace of mind, and a bit of space to move around. I still use a monitor for when I go on early-morning runs, so that my helper can be alerted when my toddler wakes up, or if he needs anything. I recently tried out the iBaby monitor, which has a whole lot of amazing features. It works on iPhone, iPod Touch, IPad or Mac mouse, and you need to download the iBaby monitor app on your device. Then you set up the camera in the room, and you have access to sights and sounds via the app, which picks up on the camera. The great: - You can rotate the camera via your device, so if your little one moves or you lose sight of them, you can reposition the camera by swiping your device. - You don't have to have the app open - you'll get sent alerts via push notifications if there is any movement or crying. - There's unlimited range: you can check up on your child from far away (I'm not recommending you leave your baby or child solo, obviously!). - Up to four users and four devices can access the viewing - Easy to set up - Infrared lighting for nighttime viewing (you won't disturb the baby) - Two-way audio so you can calm and speak to your child - Snapshot function so you can take pics The not-so-great - As with other heavy-duty apps, this one eats eats up the battery (and a battery is what you need to get your notifications) Verdict: Despite reading some mixed reviews about its functionality, I had no problems at all. I like that it works across devices, and that I have a good window into what's happening in my toddler's room (which makes me think that this could work well as a "nannycam"). Since not everyone has an IOS device, it makes it impossible for everyone to have access to your child's movements. Would I recommend it? Yes. Would I buy it if I needed another monitor? Yes. PS: If you have a doting family member (like a granny or grandpa) who want to see more of your baby, then why not give them the access details for them to view your littlie? Available from iStores for R2 999. See more how it works here:

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“My day as a working mom” told in GIFs

August 27, 2013, 2:01 am

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I still haven't got tired of GIFs, and I particularly like this series of them, from Michelle Noehren, Founder of CTWorkingMoms.com, via HuffingtonPost. Hilarious!

Wake up, look at the clock and wish I could stay in bed longer:   Husband leaves at 5:45 a.m., toddler wakes up at 5:46 a.m.:   Give myself a quick pep talk, Hunger Games style:   Spend the next hour and a half entertaining said toddler and somehow trying to get dressed and make my lunch. There's usually a lot of this:   With me doing this:   Cause taking five minutes to get my shit together makes my toddler feel like this:   Then when it's finally time to head to daycare I'm like:   I wish the drive to daycare was more like this:   But in reality, I'm asked a million questions that always start with the word WHY:   Get to daycare, drop her off, pull out of the driveway and I'm like:   Head to work. I'm really lucky to have a job I enjoy. Most days this is me:   Then when it's time to leave and pick her up I get excited because I miss her. Drive back to daycare and hope when we see each other it will be like this:   But it's pretty much always like this:   And I have to practically do this to get her to go with me into the car:   Which once again results in this:   But usually once we are in the car for a few minutes she gets like this:   Then we get home and she sees daddy and gets crazy excited like this:   And is all like this towards mama:   Then we play for awhile till it's dinnertime. Sometimes, I'm just so in awe of how cool she is and how fast she's growing up that I stare at her like this:   Then we sit down for dinner and she's all like this about her food:   And we have to be super encouraging for her to get a full dinner in:   But all she really wants to do is this:   After dinner comes my favorite part of the day. Snuggles on the couch before bedtime:   Then when it's time to brush teeth and get pj's on she's all like:   When we tuck her into bed and shut her door, both the hubz and I are like:   And then the hubs does this:   While I'm all about this:   And then we get up the next day to do it all again and wouldn't have it any other way! I love my little family so much that I feel like this:  

Follow CT Working Moms on Twitter: www.twitter.com/ctworkingmoms

Juggling Act: how one mom tries to find the balance between work and motherhood

August 28, 2013, 2:50 am

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The question of how moms juggle work and parenting is a million-dollar one, and I guess we all have our own answers and solutions for making it work as best as we can. In this new blog series, Juggling Act, I'll be asking working moms how they best balance everything. This time, I chatted to Lesego Matabane, the marketing manager of Club Med South Africa, and single mom to five-year-old Rorisang (Rori). The biggest challenge about being a working mom is… The greatest challenge as a working mom was knowing that I would not be able to give all my time to my son and that he would be partly raised by his nanny and grandmother.  Of course this wasn’t an issue as I have a wonderful nanny and I trust my mom completely; she did raise me after all and I’d like to think that I turned out alright. When I was growing up, my mommy was always around so I was able to spend loads of time with her, which was wonderful.  As much as I would love to spend every moment with Rori, I want to give my boy the best I can in terms of what life has to offer. I had an amazing childhood and was fortunate to enjoy several great opportunities however, it is important to me that he has the best education and every opportunity to explore more. My tips for a reasonable work-parenting-self life balance are… There is no such thing as a reasonable work-parenting-self life balance.  I do the best I can everyday and tell him how much I love him and how proud I am of him. Kids tend to think that you are their property, especially when they are young, so once Rori is finally asleep, I get some ‘me time’! I actually can’t wait until he thinks that he is too cool to be seen with mommy so I can enjoy more, quality ‘ME time’. YEAH! The hardest thing about being a working mom is… One of the most difficult things about being a working mom is having to say to my boy, “Mommy can’t play with you right now baby; mommy has to work”. He loves it when we play together and sometimes it can be very challenging, especially when I am working on a deadline. I do however do my best to catch up on work after he has gone to bed. This ensures I can spend quality time with him and do some of the things he enjoys most like watching cartoons, playing games on the iPad or getting his MacD cheese burger ( just for the toy).

The most rewarding thing about being a working mom is… The greatest reward is knowing that my son will one day see the benefits and appreciate why mommy had to work. It is a great feeling to be able to financially secure his future, no matter what. The things/people I depend on most for support and enabling me to parent and work are… I depend on my child’s nanny, Mankeng, and my mommy the most. Mankeng is an absolute God send and has been with us since my boy was only three months old. She loves my boy like her she would her own child.  My mommy on the other hand is my pillar of strength and if I can only be half the woman she is, I would have achieved great success. I want to be remembered as a mom who… ..loved her child unconditionally! A mom who tried to give the best to her boy, a mom who taught her boy how to first respect himself but more importantly respect women, ladies, girls, old fashioned values, please and thank you.  A mom who taught her son he needs to always have faith and believe in himself, no matter what. If I could offer tips or advice for companies to help working moms, it would be to… Kids will always be their mother’s first priority but it is not to say that our work will suffer. Sometimes we will need to work from home because our child is sick and will need to attend the important occasions in their life, like their soccer games, but the work will still be done. I would advise companies to be more flexible with moms and have on several occasions made reference to an ex- colleague’s approach. She was a director at the company and would decline any meetings commencing at 7am in the morning. Her boss did not understand her stance on this so she decided to talk to him using an unusual approach. She asked him if he had kids and he answered “yes”.  She then asked who dropped off the kids off at school and he replied his wife.  She then said to him, “Just like your wife, I am that wife and that mother that has to first drop off the kids before coming to work and as such cannot attend meetings at 7am in the morning”. If I could offer tips or advice to working moms, it would be… It is important to not be too hard on yourself.  You can’t do everything and be everything to your child.  Just because you missed your son’s first step, does not make you a bad mom; it just makes you human. Ask for help when in need. This may be controversial for some but just remember that as much as you are a mom, you are an individual first.  When you meet me, I introduce myself as Lesego, who happens to also be Rori’s mommy. Don’t feel bad because you need “ time out” away from your child. When my son gets upset when I go to work, I… (i.e. what do you tell him, or how do you cope?). I remind him that grandma and Mankeng are there for him too. He needs to know that there are others who love and care for him; that when I get back, it will be just us and we will watch the Lion King for the umpteenth time. I am constantly telling him I love him and he needs to always remember that.   If you'd like to be featured here, please email me. I'd love to hear and share your story.

How to choose the right pair of jeans, plus win a jeans consultation with a styist

August 28, 2013, 2:52 am

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Finding the right pair of jeans is about as elusive as negotiating successfully with a toddler. For me, there's a lot of pain, irritation and cluelessness when it comes to finding denims that don't make me look like a sausage squeezed into a casing, or someone drowning in bulky mom-type pants. I asked Pippa Leenstra, a Twitter friend, and personal stylist who helps "normal" women find what suits them the best, for some tips on choosing jeans (I asked her mainly for my own benefit, I admit, but also because I know how many other women battle with finding the "right pair"). And over to the expert, Pippa: To prefix any tips that I share with you I’m going to make an emphatic statement: JEANS NEED TO BE FITTED! Loose-fitting jeans will only make you look bigger than what you are. You have to admit that boyfriend jeans are only flattering on about 5% of the population. The first and biggest tip I can share with you is this:

1. Higher-waisted jeans are more flattering.

Now when I say higher-waisted I don’t mean granny-style-above-your-belly-button-nerdy vibes. I just mean that the closer your pants sit to your belly button, as opposed to your hips, the more flattering they will be; for two crucial reasons

1. Your legs will look longer
2. The higher waist helps to eliminate any muffin top from happening, as so many 30 – 40 something women can relate to, particularly any who have carried a baby/babies through pregnancy!

** The only time higher-waisted jeans might not suit you is if you are particularly square in shape and are also slim, hipster jeans will probably be more flattering for you then. (Obviously if you’re 21 and your body is still supple and toned and all the bits are where they’re supposed to be then go for the hipsters as they’re super sexy, but I’m talking to a more mature woman here!) Higher-waisted jeans are often referred to as ‘mid-rise’.  A good go-to place for higher-waisted jeans is Country Road for their ‘Regular Straight’ range. Trenery jeans are also always higher in the waist. They’re not the most hip but they suit almost every single client of mine that has ever tried them on. They’re priced at around the R600 mark so they’re affordable too. 2. The second tip concerns embellishment, detail and the colour wash of your jeans. If you’re trying to minimise your bum and streamline your silhouette, then oversized and contrasting stitching; fade detail; embroidery; beading; bling and pocket detail should all be kept to a minimum. Opt for a darker wash as this is more slimming than a light wash, and go for something as plain as possible. If you’re not very curvy or you’ve got a great bum that you’re looking to accentuate, then feel free to go all out on the embellishment and detail. 3 The third tip is about length If you’re wearing boot leg, wide leg or straight leg jeans you absolutely have to make sure that they skim the floor in whatever shoes you wear i.e. you’ll need 2 pairs of the same jeans if you want to wear them with both heels and flats. Bootleg, wide leg or straight leg jeans that are too short will make you look dumpy. Conversely, skinny jeans will never really touch the floor as they are too skinny to sit over your ankle. So the same pair can be worn with both flats and heels. Remember these are just guidelines, just because you may have some junk in your trunk and a darker wash is more slimming, doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun with your jeans and wear an animal print pair if you want to. I’m not a big fan of rules. At the end of the day, if you’re confident enough to rock whatever you’re wearing, it will look great on you regardless of whether it actually suits you perfectly or not. Here’s my list of fave go-to stores and websites for investment jeans:

• Diesel in Sandton City
• www.shop-label.com for international brands like J Brand; Mother Denim; CURRENT/ELLIOTT and Rag & Bone
• Paige Denim – www.shopbop.com

 

NEED NEW JEANS?

Pippa is offering me and one other blog reader in Joburg (dor anyone who can come to Joburg) a consultation on what will suit you best, and we'll all go shopping to find the best fit, with Pippa on hand to help us. If you'd like to join me, then comment below and you'll be entered into the draw. Please note that you don't have to be a mom to enter. The competition closes on Wednesday 4 September at 9am, and the winner will be announced shortly thereafter. To book a consult with Pippa, you can e-mail her for more information  or call on +27 82 868 4981.  

Show me the party: Morgan’s Minnie Mouse first birthday party

August 29, 2013, 12:34 am

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It's been so long since I featured parties here, so it was great to get this party sent to me by Charne Stander, from her daughter Morgan's first birthday party with a Minnie Mouse theme. I love the decor, and I adore the Minnie Mouse ears on every chair for each guest. Charne says: "We celebrated Morgan’s 1st birthday with a Minnie Mouse theme. The party was held at Eagle Canyon golf estate clubhouse. We had a fantastic day with superb weather. Pieter from Sugar Wishes made the cake, while I baked the cupcakes and organised the decor. The décor items were from In Good Company in Parkhurst, and Partynet.co.za

If you'd like to have your party featured here, please email me here.

You CAN get away with non-premium nappies

August 29, 2013, 2:09 am

≫ Next: Win a R500 Woolworths gift card with Woolworths Rewards

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This is a sponsored post for Huggies

There's an Afrikaans  saying "goedkoop is duurkoop", which means something similar to "penny wise, pound foolish", or you get what you pay for, or buying cheaply is not the best option. But there's an expection to every rule, like Huggies Dry Comfort nappies, which might not be in the premium nappy market, but are pretty good, and offer the "12-hour protection" promise. I was always scared to try out non-premium brands. What if they leaked? What if someone - gasp - saw that I was buying my son the cheaper option? But I sucked it up, and I was happy to switch and play around with what worked. Huggies Dry Comfort have s leak-guard waistband that fits the baby at the back to prevent leaks. It also has absorbent "lock-gel" that is spread throughout the nappy to lock wetness away quickly, for up to 12 hours. The nappies come in Winnie the Pooh characters, and are available in four sizes – size 2 (3 – 6kg), size 3 (5 – 9 kg), size 4 (8 - 14 kg) and size 5 (12 - 22 kg). Prices vary between the sizes, but for size 4, the recommended retail price is R47.99 (for 17), R124.99 (for 50), and R139.99 (for 66). PS: This is just my guess, and not science, but many products are cheaper because there's less marketing or advertising them. Makes sense, huh?

Win a R500 Woolworths gift card with Woolworths Rewards

August 30, 2013, 12:15 am

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WOOLWORTHS WREWARDS MAKES A DIFFERENCE This week, Woolworths is giving away a R500 gift card to spend on anything you'd like - whether it's a new pair of heels, weekly groceries or a spring perfume. Woolworths is currently celebrating the relaunch of WRewards - the only rewards programme in SA that gives you instant benefits. There's no points, no waiting nor admin nor big promises - with a WRewards card, you get from 10% off selected items in store from food, fashion, homeware, beauty and more. Woolworths and MySchool MyVillage MyPlanet and cardholders are automatic members of WRewards, so there is no need to get an additional card. But if you don’t have a card, you can get a free WRewards card that is not linked to credit. You just swipe your card upfront when purchasing items (look out for the shopper discounts on your till slip and till screen) as every swipe helps to increase your WRewards tier status which is linked to a host of other guaranteed benefits and rewards. How rewarding! You can apply for a WRewards card in store, or online. On the topic of MySchool…another benefit for cardholders is that you can reward others whilst rewarding yourself…but you have to make sure your Woolies card is linked to MySchool. Check out www.myschool.co.za for more. Ive chosen Starfish as my beneficiary! Win!! To enter to win a R500 Woolworths gift card, simply comment below, and mention what you'd most like to buy at Woolworths next. Entries close on Friday 6 September at 9am.  

 

 

The winner of the Bio-Oil hamper is…

August 30, 2013, 12:21 am

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Well done Siphokazi for winning a Bio-Oil hamper and Desray scarf. I'll email details of your prize.

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Win a hamper full of Ella’s Kitchen smoothies

August 30, 2013, 1:07 am

≫ Next: Dolce and Gabbana does back to school – beautiful clothes (and happy-looking child models)

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  If you haven't tried the latest organic kids' food on the market, Ella's Kitchen, here's your chance! Ella's Kitchen is giving away a hamper of a month's worth of fruit smoothies which you might want because: - They taste great (my toddler and I have been eating them since this UK brand launched here a few months ago) - They come in handy pouches with a cap - They are organic and only have fruit - no additives or even water. - There are four varieties: Purple,Green, Yellow, and Red, each with their own mix of fruit To enter to win a hamper, simply comment below, and mention which flavour you'd like to try (for you or your child). There is no right answer here - we're just keen to see. The entries close on Friday 6 September at 9am, and the winner will be announced shortly thereafter.

Dolce and Gabbana does back to school – beautiful clothes (and happy-looking child models)

September 1, 2013, 11:28 pm

≫ Next: What Supernanny did next: Family SOS (plus an interview with Jo Frost – a long but worthwhile read)

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So it's back-to-school time overseas, and Dolce and Gabbana have a line just for that. Exquisite clothing, beautiful accessories, and mostly happy-looking kids (even if they are going back to school). PS: Some of you have rightly commented that a lot of kids in these designer campaigns look either sad or too "grown up". So from now on I'll try and feature the happier shoots. Unless I'm writing about how miserable the kids look.   Via JuniorMagazine

What Supernanny did next: Family SOS (plus an interview with Jo Frost – a long but worthwhile read)

September 1, 2013, 11:31 pm

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Remember Jo Frost? She of Supernanny fame, who went to houses, and tried to instil discipline, order, routine and quality time in families who needed it (and also introduced many parents to the concept of "naughty corner" or "naughty step"). I always wondered how Jo would fare with older kids - it's one thing tackling smackers, biters and kids who won't go to sleep or respect their parents. It's another thing handling angsty teens going through another set of challenges in their lives. As it turns out, Jo handles awkward and acting-out teens and older kids with as little sweat as she does toddlers, from what I can see from a preview episode of her latest show, Family SOS (I kinda wish Jo was there to hold my hand when I was an angry and crushed teen with divorced parents, avoiding homework and sneaking in cigarettes almost everywhere).

I recently interviewed Jo, and while I wish it was a face to face one with me showing her pictures of my toddler and passing the breeze too, it was via a conference call with several other countries asking their questions too.

There were lots of questions asked, and very thorough answers, so I've only included some of the interview

PS: the organised people at the Discovery network sent us transcripts of the interview - I can't take "credit" for transcribing).

PPS: Some of these questions are from the other interviewers

Is there anything that younger mums can do to ensure later happy and well adjusted teenagers? What could I do with my toddler now as a guarantee or as an investment for him later if anything? Allow them to be a part of your conversation. Talk to them about the things that they are interested in, the things that tickle them. Ask them about the things that they are involved in every day and what it meant to them. Allow them to feel that emotionally they can express themselves without you reacting in a way that will close doors. Validate their opinions, whether you agree with them or not it’s important to validate what they’re saying and ask them why, certainly making sure that we can connect with our children, creativity, imagination, reading and literacy is a big one in being able to develop their repertoire and their understanding; enjoying. Being not just verbal affection but also physically being affectionate with them as well is incredibly important as we’re able to touch, as well as we’re able to talk and for them to receive that love and affection in that way. Expanding and coming out of your comfort zone is a good one in being able to enjoy an experience with your children that may be new for them. Allow yourself to put your hair down and get a little bit messy. A lot of parents who are juggling work and trying to keep a home and looking after a toddler, sometimes it becomes very stressful and that stress can really expand itself in keeping things neat and orderly and tidy in a way where we don’t allow our children to be messy, to learn through exploration, to have fun and to enjoy because we don’t want to get involved in the messiness of it all. Allow our children to do that, give them the opportunities having those experiences. Put a structure in place but don’t allow every day to be structured. Have a routine in place that allows their needs to be met. Make sure that as a parent, you take time out for yourself as well because you are doing yourself and your toddlers no favours if you can’t take care of the mother ship yourself. Have a night out with your husband. Have a night out with just the girls. Take time out and don’t feel guilty for it. Don’t always feel that you have to be the person eating the burnt toast in the back of the car. All of those are incredibly important with respect to giving your children every day that well roundedness. You are their main central voicebox. You are their go-to. You are enough. They will enjoy playdates. They will enjoy being around their own peers. However as they get older they will be influenced by those peers, teachers in their lives. Set the example, be the role model. Think every day how you can better yourself and the impression that you make on your young children too. It’s a 24/7 job at the end of the day and one that you are not always rewarded for straight away. Your kids kind of grow up and become 20 and then thank you, but enjoy the experience at the same time and when things get tough and there are days when you feel like I am having a hard day, I just want the kids in bed, put it down to an experience that tomorrow is another day. I think it’s about an attitude, it’s a mindset and it’s an attitude and we have to recognise that what’s important is that we enjoy that journey and know that if you make a mistake, if you make a decision that you know is the wrong one you can go back on it. You can go back on it. You can say “ok, we did that. That didn’t work. We’re going to do this”. Actually “I’ve changed my mind. This is the better thing we need to be doing”. Go back on it. I feel really that we want to remember these things, educate yourself. Read and learn from your experiences, so you can make decisions yourself. A lot of our parenting decisions may be made on the way that we were raised, but we have to start assertively thinking about how we want to raise our own children. There are bits maybe in our parents’ lives raising us we don’t want to adopt. We don’t want to do that, we want to do things differently now; and there are things that we loved and we want to bring those into our own experiences of parenthood. I think really it’s an amalgamation of all of those things in recognising that we are regulators, we are there to protect our children, help them grow and to enjoy the relationships.  To raise well-adjusted children in life means that we do have to do some kinds of things as parents that we don’t always want to do and I think that’s key to remember too. What do you think about the whole idea of “Attachment Parenting”? I think attachment parenting is certainly a parenting style that has received positive criticism, however I think it’s important to be able to understand that we also have to raise our children to be self-sufficient, to be independent and to be able to think for themselves. I believe in today’s world, what we should be striving to do as parents is to look at an amalgamation of many parenting styles to understand when we adopt those particular styles that allow us to parent to the best of our ability. There are times when we don’t need to worry about our children’s safety, when we’re at home, we have safety proofed the house...it’s not a concern for us certainly what our child plays with or what they take to the park or the clothes they want to wear at a certain season, but at the same time we have to recognise that we have to be assertive as parents, so we recognise that in creating attachment and being parents who love and put boundaries in place that there are also parents who create structure and create boundaries and teach our children respect so that we have the balance. So “attachment parenting” certainly is a positive parenting style, but I don’t believe that one can parent through attachment throughout the whole of the child’s life, because there are times when we need to adapt other parenting styles. Do you think that your long-standing experience with the “time out” method means the child feels they are learning? Have you ever thought that this method can curb the child’s emotions and bring some negative consequences? Jo Frost: No, absolutely not. Whether you call it a naughty step or whether you call it a time out, what is important is that a child understands that there are consequences for certain behaviour and what we hope we do with toddlers is to instil a moral compass that allows our young toddler to understand the difference between right and wrong, to character build and to morally be the regulator as parents so that we teach our children appropriate, respectful behaviour in society. This in turn allows us to raise well adjusted adults with empathy and an understanding and respect for other human beings in this world. Certainly it is important as part of child development that our children understand that one can conjure a situation and behave in a certain way that will ultimately lead to consequences. Sometimes a child’s behaviour can result in good consequences. Sometimes in not focused consequences, but the experience in itself allows us to recognise and shape the way we think and the way that we behave. What’s important is to encourage the thinking process, so that one understands as they get older the correct way of being able to behave and how to have empathy, respect and love for others in their family as well as those outside. That’s really our job to do as parents to be able to do that. I believe if we can get that right, then we create a situation where we raise children who have respect for other children, and have empathy for those who are different in schools so that we decrease the amount of bullying that is happening in today’s society. If we have better relationships not just within our family but with those outside too, I believe this issue can be resolved. So the time-out method comes along at a very appropriate time when you are teaching toddlers how to know the difference between right and wrong behaviour and consequently if you don’t get that right, then all that leads to is more unacceptable behaviour as the child becomes older.  Yet if we get it right, we have those who are growing up to think for themselves, become less impulsive and to take their time before doing so. Are there differences between misbehaving children in different countries in the world? I have had the fortune of being able to help families in the USA and the UK and in a very light hearted way I can tell you that a tantrum from a British five year old looks the same as a tantrum from a five year old who’s American! It actually looks the same as well when a teenager is having a tantrum too. I don’t think there are any visual differences, and certainly misbehaviour is guided personally from the family and what is causing the breakdown. Should a parent spoil a child? Or how could parental gratitude and appreciation be expressed better? I think really the point that you make is that it really is a very strong example that we show as parents, appreciation and gratitude. I think it’s an important part of life in being able to show gratitude for everyday things that happen and that’s normally taught by leading by example from our parents and we learn that from them. Common courtesy and manners are skills that are taught from a very young age, so I think it’s important to be able to instil that in our children from a very young age. Should you never spoil a child? To spoil in the Webster Dictionary is to ruin, so we never want to ruin our children. We never want to give them an abundance of materialism but instead teach them the importance of gratitude and the importance of etiquette and to have good manners. I think it’s about balance. There’s a very big difference between going somewhere special for a birthday and buying that extra balloon or letting them have something for that morning.  That’s very different to giving your child an abundance of materialistic aid constantly without doing your job as a parent and doing the things that you should be doing as you’re raising your children which leads them to feel very entitled and very spoilt. Of course that’s not how we want to raise children. What do you find more challenging? Is it helping teenagers or toddlers?  Helping families is challenging full stop. I would be lying to you if I said that helping families was not mentally, physically and emotionally taxing on me because it is. You are in a family situation where you are dealing with constant confrontation, constant disagreement. You are dealing with families whose adrenaline is on the high end. I’m on the front line of a family war zone because when I go in and I help families they are at the point of crisis, so everything is hyper, everything is oversensitive, the adrenaline is up. You are on the front line, so of course it’s very taxing to be in that toxic environment but the object is to push through that and to do what is necessary for each family member or for them all as a family.  My job is to push them through the other end, so that’s the object of being able to do that. It doesn’t come any easier to do it with toddlers or teenagers because the environment is still toxic. The environment is still hostile, so the environment that you’re in 18 hours a day is what you are challenged with as a teacher, challenged with as an expert in being able to push the family through. The irony is obviously that you couldn’t have the issues without the environment, they go hand in hand. The nice thing always to remember is that you are going to come out the other end, so as much as it’s rough waters in the beginning and neither tween, teen or toddler is more challenging than the other; the reality is is that with hard work and really doing what you need to do and sometimes being very militant and other times being very tender is what ultimately will get you through that major hump, slowly but surely.  

Family SOS will be premiering on TLC  (DStv 172 and TopTV 453) on Wednesday 4 September at 8.10pm.

Here's a clip from the show:

Etihad Airways now offers “Flying Nanny”– someone to help

September 3, 2013, 12:08 am

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I'm not sure why an airline hasn't thought of this before - an onboard "supernanny" to help parents with their kids while flying, and unaccompanied minors. So well done to Etihad Airways for doing just that - introducing the Flying Nanny on board long-haul flights to help out. The Flying Nannies wear bright orange aprons, are specifically trained for the role (their training includes child psychology and sociology too). So what might a nanny do each flight? She will play with the kids, support parents with what they need, help out the crew with communicating and assisting the families. Towards the end of the flight the Flying Nanny will help parents by replenishing milk bottles, and giving out snacks, fruit and water. For younger kids, there are arts, crafts, making of sock puppets and learning of magic tricks, and for older kids there are quizzes and tours of the galley. It sounds like a brilliant concept, and I'm sure it will take off, so to speak!

What NOT to say to a new mom

September 3, 2013, 12:08 am

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I didn't remember the irritiating or awkward things people said to me when I was a new mom, until I came across this piece on The Stir about the 25 things not to say to a new mom about her baby. It's hilarious, and I'm pretty sure we can relate to some of them. My best is 14. And 12. Here are 25 things not to say to a new mom about her baby. 25. "Oh my god, he's huge! What'd you eat while you were pregnant?" 24. "Aw. Too bad she's bald. Everyone's going to think she's a boy." 23. "Does she ever stop crying? 22. "He's SO tiny. You sure he was ready to come out?" 21. "He looks just like a little alien." 20. "Is it a boy or a girl?" 19. "She looks nothing like you. All your husband." 18. "Ew, when is that belly button thing going to fall off?" 17. "Wow, he's so ... hairy." 16. "Are those bumps all over her face normal?" 15. "Is that big mark on her face going to go away?" 14. "Ooh, you shouldn't dress her in blue." 13. "Newborns are never cute." 12. "Oh." [Pause.] "That's so not what I imagined him to look like." 11. "When do they start getting cute?" 10. "Geez. For something so small, he sure is loud." 9. "Is that normal?" 8. "He doesn't look like a happy baby." 7. "She's a little piggy, isn't she?" 6. "Why is she all crusty?" 5. "But ... you guys are good-looking." 4. "Ew, I think he's pooping!" 3. [After staring, slightly horrified] "I hope I wind up with a cute baby." 2. "Eesh, he's all red and wrinkly." 1. "That child is deeply and profoundly ugly."   Feature image via FreeDigitalImages